Bucketloads of Controversy

These are indeed interesting times, as Fu Manchu said to me on the way to his third consecutive execution.

Firstly there is a fourth, repeat Fourth movie based on the Martian Invasion on it's way, another low-budget film, this time modernised but appearing closer to the original then the biggest budget project. I look forward to the inevitable Bollywood version.

Secondly Cap'n Bayne warned me that we might upset some people with the latest issue of the webcomic. Let me assure you that all religions will be free and will be fairly treated under Martian Occupation. A persons belief system will have no bearing whatsoever on their assignment to either Collaborator or F.O.O.D. catagory.

Also in the news is a new PS2 game shceduled for imminant release that has the whole Embassy abuzz: Destroy All Humans! From the 50's setting through the similarity of the invaders to our beloved pet Food Martians to the abduction of cattle, the mass destruction by flying saucer and of course killing humans. This looks like an eminantly delightful game.

Quality Vs Quantity

We have recieved a few letters from collaborators who wish to know why updates to the Doom Filled Page of DOOM tend to arrive in waves of frequency. This is because the brave and noble Cap'n Bayne is fighting a most valient fight with the ailment known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This illness, beyond even the power of current Martian Science to cure, means that there are occassionally neccessary delays between site updates. While it is true that other collaborators could perform this task more frequently, they could not provide the degree of creativity, passion or abstract genius that is regularly contributed to our aims on Earth by Cap'n Bayne.

Martians, though not sentimental, do not believe in the waste of quality resources. We also support the attempts to find a cause and a cure for this terrible illness.

We ask all good collaborators to do likewise.